I love Alan Carr and he made me laugh out loud with his joke on Interior Design Masters about his first kiss; it reminded my of my own primary school memories at Tynsel Parkes. Mrs Parker was wonderful. Her bottomless smock-pocket of Trebor mints was a thing of wonder when you were seven.
First Playground Kiss
My first playground kiss
under blossoming boughs …
Oh how I still wonder
what she’s doing now
A mint Trebor kiss
strong and soft on my cheek
Oh I was her favourite
at school for one week
A half-hearted smile
or a ruffle of hair
was all I could hope for
once she didn’t care
She’d new favourites now
who she gave all her mints
with who she played hopscotch
who won her best winks
My first playground kiss
under blossoming boughs …
Oh how I still wonder
what she’s doing now
My old dinner lady
who once kissed my cheek
Oh I was her favourite
at school for one week
Mark Bird
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