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So do you get that urge to blurt
(Your bum’s gone numb, your ankles hurt)
a naughty word, a random phrase
in school assembly - dazed and glazed?

The more you will the words away
The more they bounce and flounce and stay
The more you shush your noisy head
The more the words scream, “MAKE US SAID!”

And then you daydream, if you did
what then would happen to the kid
who blurted words and silly sounds
as teachers fainted on the ground

The words grow braver on my tongue
I hold my mouth; I must be strong
They trampoline and pinch and bout
They tell my mouth, “Just let us out.”

I panic as the words grow worse
Absurd, wild thoughts, a nonsense curse!
My brain commands, “It’s time to blurt -
they’re only words; how can they hurt?”

But what will my headteacher do?
The Nursery kids? Miss Cottoncoo?
Will I then be expelled from school?
Forevermore, The Foul-Mouthed Fool.

Or even worse, they’ll call the cops
I’LL GO TO JAIL! The panic stops …
Bad thoughts retreat, rude words all flee
and fade to live subconsciously

I free my lips, remove my hand
But what I fail to understand
These words are clever; I am thick
They hadn’t gone; it’s just a trick

“Help me please, they’re coming out
It’s not my fault,” I plead and shout.
“My brain it led my thoughts astray
Convinced me that today’s the day -

to blurt a thing I never I should
It’s bored because I’m always good.”
The silence falls, the children stare
The teachers gawp, the head just glares

I realise, it’s not too late
There’s still a chance to change my fate
“Oh no there ain’t!” my brain conspires
And from my mouth, the canon fires …

©2022 Mark Bird